Perfect Birth, Part 2: It’s Personal

A couple of weeks ago, I shared my heart about an issue that I know plagues expectant mothers everywhere: what does it take to have a perfect birth?

I touched on the fact that while childbirth education is imperative, and support during labor is helpful, we still don’t know how any woman will react to the labor process until she is already in the moment. I made the point that all births, no matter what they look like, are victories to be celebrated. And I mean that. All births are their own brand of perfect. But sometimes, for some women, the truth is this:

Even perfect birth can be traumatic.

I would be foolish not to acknowledge that some women have frightening or even life-threatening births and are forced to come to terms with their experience. For one reason or another, the process simply doesn’t “work” in some situations. For some of these women, my testimony about my disappointing birth experience and my injured feelings of self-worth might be exactly what they need. But for others, well… maybe not so much.

Beyond our physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies, we are each also composed of our own complicated list of experiences. We have a mind, which we discuss in class, but we also have a subconscious mind, which we couldn’t even begin to cover: immature in its ability to make sense of our experiences, and endlessly vulnerable to the hoaxes of the enemy (again: see the Devotional). Working quietly behind the scenes, beneath our cool, collected exterior, it shapes our reactions to every one of our life experiences.

It’s personal.

In the five years since starting my childbirth services company, I have had no choice but to grow as an individual. I have been brought to my knees by some of my own life experiences. Shaken to the core of my beliefs. The shaping of my character as an adult has been arduous, and I have fought hard to find—and hold on to—what is true. In the process, I have also come to see some of that which is not.

I have learned something very important: We are each fighting our own battles. Maybe that sounds cliché, but this is relevant in all areas of life – including the quest for a great birth. For me to come alongside a woman and preach “worth,” when her own personal life experiences have shaped her to need a message of “safety” (for example), would mean that I have missed her altogether.

But how can I help? How do I know what someone needs, when it is beyond their own understanding? How do I discern the tune of their song, unless they themselves can sing it to me?

It’s possible.

The message I offer in my classes about worth and birth idolatry and relationship problems is—in all humility—good. It is quality stuff, and I will continue to teach it. But if I am to partner with God in caring for souls, then I must work from the heart with all of the skill allotted to me. There is more I can offer on an individual basis, seeking hearts and re-adjoining them to God’s in a way that is so much bigger, so much more personal, than the quest for the perfect birth.

It’s time to integrate more. Eden’s Promise is ready to offer you – each mother, father, and child- more than I ever dreamed possible. Click here to find out more!

Jennifer DeBrito, CSP, CCLD, CCBE is a Master Splankna Practitioner  Colorado Springs Doula and Childbirth Educator.She is the author of Expectant Parents Workshop: Devotional, and the creator of the Expectant Parents Workshop childbirth preparation class. Jennifer was the 3-time doula to Suzanne Hadley Gosselin (esteemed author of Expectant Parentsa pregnancy/childbirth/parenting book by Focus on the Family). In addition to coaching expectant parents toward a Christ-centered childbirth, Jennifer also specializes in prenatal and postpartum wellness coaching and Splankna Therapy Colorado Springs. Jennifer is a featured blogger for My719Moms.com. To learn more about Jennifer, go to EdensPromiseLLC.com.

Ask the Doula: How to Beat Workplace Germs During Pregnancy

Dear Jen,

Typically, I avoid most sicknesses throughout the year, and I can’t remember the last time I took a sick day, but do you have any advice going into cold and flu season?

-Teaching and Pregnant

Dear Teaching and Pregnant,

Yes, I do have a few easy tips to help you to stay healthy in the midst of all the students (or any workplace, really). In addition to the obvious non-negotiables (like washing your hands frequently with soap and water, drinking plenty of water, and getting plenty of rest), I’d probably include the following:

1) An essential oil mist for your work & home environments. Depending on what scents you like, some of the ones that are particularly associated with being effective against airborne bacteria/viruses are cinnamon, eucalyptus, and lemon. Lavender is also included in this list.

Normally, to diffuse an essential oil, you would put a few drops in water and warm it slowly over a tea light candle. In the workplace, this probably won’t fly. If you feel like dropping a hundred bucks or so on a  little steam diffuser, which mixes the essential oils with water and sprays a fine mist into the air without using heat or fire (but does need to be plugged in), do it! This is actually the best way to diffuse oils, because the molecules will be the smallest–thus keeping them suspended in the air the longest. Otherwise, I think a room spray would be just fine. One brand that comes to mind is Zum Mist, available at Whole Foods, Sprouts, and Natural Grocers (support local businesses whenever possible). And of course, there’s always good ol’ doTerra.

If you have a few essential oils in the house already and want to try making your own spray, it’s insanely easy. Sprayer bottles can be purchased anywhere, really, but I do recommend sticking with glass to avoid filling the room with phthalates. Fill the bottle 3/4 full with filtered water, add either 1/2 tsp of glycerin or 1/2 tsp of rubbing alcohol, and 5-10 drops of whatever essential oil you want to use. Viola–you just made a $10 bottle of room spray for next to nothing! Shake and use as much as you want, knowing you can always make more (if you can’t tell, I’m a huge fan of this option).

The cool thing about using essential oil mists is that the droplets actually pull airborne microbes from the air, cleaning the air you breathe and killing the microbes as they fall to the floor. In a teaching environment, a quick spray to the room between classes could make a huge difference in protecting the air you breathe all day.

Now, on to the next idea for keeping you healthy:

2) Keep your surfaces clean. Mrs. Meyers has a great surface cleaner that is made from essential oils. It will help you with keeping your surfaces clean, without harmful chemicals like those found in chemical cleaners such as Clorox. Plus, it smells pretty good. Remember that the idea is to let it dry on the surfaces. No cleaner works immediately upon contact. It takes a few minutes for any antimicrobial to do its job, so spray & wipe, but don’t wipe it dry.

Note: Homemade sprays work well for this purpose, too, but sprays containing glycerin should never be used on surfaces.

And lastly…

3) Some foods that are particularly associated with being ‘blood cleansing,’ (meaning they kill bacteria/viruses in the blood stream) are raw onion & garlic, cayenne (what Red Hot is made from–not Tabasco) and cinnamon. Obviously, how much you consume of each of these during pregnancy will depend on what you and the baby can handle. At the very least, you can always add a bit of cinnamon to your oatmeal, or– heck, you’re pregnant–whatever else it sounds good with! I also really liked apple-cinnamon tea; it curbs sugar cravings and keeps you healthy.

Citrus is also good for helping to alkalize your blood (making it more basic), which is also helpful because most bacteria/viruses prefer acidic environments. So even by just eating an orange or adding a little lemon to your water, you’re not only boosting your vitamin C intake naturally, but you are also making your blood a less friendly environment for illnesses to thrive. (You can also add baking soda to your bath for an alkalizing effect.)

So there you have it. You are now just a few simple, inexpensive actions from a healthier winter pregnancy! Have fun!

Love,

Jen

Jennifer DeBrito, CCLD, CCBE is a Certified Christian Doula and Birth Educator in Colorado Springs. In addition to coaching parents toward a Christ-centered birth experience, she also specializes in wellness coaching for prenatal and postpartum women and their families. She is the author of Expectant Parents Workshop: Devotional and the owner of Eden’s Promise, LLC.

To learn more about Jennifer, go to www.edenspromisellc.com